When we talk about how to leave a legacy, it’s often only a financial conversation. But leaving a legacy is about more than just money, it’s about the memories and lessons that you leave with your loved ones. Here are five ways to leave a memorable and meaningful legacy with your kids.

After you have passed, your kids will hold on to memories of you.  Make sure there are plenty of memories for them to cherish. Spend time together. Hang out. Eat together. Do chores together. Go to their concerts and games. Call to check on them.  Have family dinners regularly, and even when they’ve grown and moved out, work to be a part of their lives.  

Make sure they know how valuable they are to you.  Give them a call or talk when everyone is home at the end of the day, and tell them you’ve been thinking about them and want to be sure they know that you love them. Plan times together, something low-key and low stress so that you can all enjoy yourselves and build your relationships.

You can do this together, or do it as a gift, but create something tangible for them to hold on to when you are gone. Some great ideas to spark your imagination are:

No matter what it is, create something that they can touch, hold, and feel the love that went into making it.

Have real conversations, not one-way lectures. Talk about your values and where they came from. Tell your children about the best things you’ve experienced in life. Talk about the hardest times you’ve been through, and how you coped. Write them a letter that outlines some of your best experience and advice, something they can turn to when you are no longer there.  Make sure they know what you believe is important in life and what you have learned about how to live a good life so that they may draw on your experiences and wisdom.

Make sure your children know some of their family history. Make a scrapbook with all the pictures labeled and write out the stories that go with them. It can be a literal book, or a virtual website, just make sure the connections are there. Tell them stories about their family history. Audio or video record these stories; your voice/image telling them will be just as important as the history later.

Pre-planning your funeral arrangements helps you leave a legacy in a number of ways. First, it takes the burden of trying to determine what you would have wanted off of your family while they are grieving. For many families, this can prevent conflict between family members, some of whom might have differing ideas for how to best honor your memory. Secondly, if you choose to pre-pay, you will take this financial burden off of your loved ones. When you pre-pay, that price is locked in, so it is not affected by the inevitabilities of inflation and there are multi-year, interest-free payment options available.  But preplanning does not have to cost anything at all.  By just leaving a plan for your family to follow you are helping to insure a legacy of love rather than of potential conflict and confusion.

No matter how you choose to leave a legacy, leave something that your loved ones can look back on. Something that reminds them of you and that will bring them comfort once you are gone.