Writing Guides

• The Obituary

• Letters of Condolence

• Thank You Notes

 

The Obituary

What is an obituary? More than merely a good-bye, it can be considered a farewell that allows us to read, in chronological order, details of the life of the deceased. Obituaries are also records that will aid future generations in the reconstruction of family histories.

There are several elements to an obituary, which also serves as public notification that an individual has died and provides details of the services that are to take place. The first three items below are often found in the same paragraph. The second paragraph begins with survivors. The final paragraph includes the service arrangements.

1. The name of the individual, including any nickname he or she was known by, and location and date of death so there is no confusion as to who has died.
2. Who the person really was, and what he or she may have accomplished. This is where occupation, schools attended, degrees attained, memberships, military service, favorite hobbies or activities would be described.
3. Usually the names of parents and deceased family members are listed next. Often the surviving spouse is listed here.
4. The next paragraph could include the survivors, such as children, paternal and maternal grandparents, great-grandparents, adopted or step or half children, siblings, etc.
5. The final section includes the service arrangements which are the, who, what, where and when of the service. If a memorial contribution to a charity organization were to be listed, it would go here.

Always have another family member verify the obituary. Use your own discretion and write from the heart.

 

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Letters of Condolence

Letters of condolence are too personal to follow a set form. Only one rule should guide you in writing such letters: Say what you truly feel. Sit down as soon as you hear of the death and let your thoughts be with the person you are writing to. The following phrases may help you get started:

In this time of deep loss we extend to you our sorrow and tender understanding.

What a terrible shock. It is difficult to convey our deep sadness, but our thoughts and love are with you.

Grief is a heartache that slowly heals. Your lovely daughter will be missed sadly, but she will always be in our hearts.

Please accept our deepest sympathies. The healing will require courage and patience. Our prayers/love/thoughts are with you in this time of grief.

Our thoughts and love are with you. We have so many wonderful memories of times with your brother. He was a very precious gift to us all.

We are saddened by the news of Ronald’s passing. Please accept our sincere sympathies. Our community has lost a valuable and respected member and we have lost a cherished friend. We will miss him deeply.

 

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Thank You Notes

Only a few words are necessary in a thank you note. The following suggestions may be helpful in composing a personally written message.

Thank you for all your kindness and for the beautiful flowers that expressed your sympathy in our recent sorrow.

This time of deep sorrow was more bearable for us because of the kind assistance of friends like you. We sincerely appreciate all that you have done.

Our sorrow is easier to bear with the help of friends like you. We want you to know how much we appreciate all that you have done for us in our recent bereavement.

We shall long remember your kindness in our hours of sorrow. We are consoled by the help and understanding of friends like you.

Your lovely flowers and accompanying message expressed an affection and understanding, which we will always cherish. Thank you for all your kindness.

It is during a time like this that we learn how much our friends really mean to us. Thank you for your sympathy, which we will always treasure.

 

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